Ten video games I should have enjoyed but weirdly didn’t

Can an old goblin still learn new fun?

I wanted to love these video games as (based on the reviews) they supposedly range from quite good to amazing adventures. I was however defeated by either the mechanics or something in the game just didn’t click with me. I once read an interview given by a video game developer where he or she explained that, when testing the game, they know that their work is at least halfway there when the “fun” starts happening. This is not a very scientific description, obviously, but I have to agree - there is something indefinable about what it is about a game that finally hooks the player. Well, I am sad that I never found the fun in these games, because I am sure that I missed out:

1.        Assassin's Creed Odyssey – oh man, how I wanted to love this game. The world looked amazing! It was huge! It was set in ancient Greece! It sounded like everything I ever wanted in a game, until I started playing it. I put it down after only three hours. I just found the quests really inane, and the mechanics of how to play my hero not very exciting. And while the world was really beautifully rendered, in the three hours I already felt that there was an emptiness to it (the land and the people populating it) that made not care enough to explore it. Basically the opposite feeling of whenever I powered up one of the new Zelda games.

2.        Bloodborne – I guess I am one of those few people who don’t understand the appeal of the Dark Souls franchise and this Bloodborne offshoot. These games are just too hard for me, which is entirely on me, as a cowardly archer and spellcaster (get away from me!) type. I also found the games quite limiting; at least in the first part of the game (the only part of these games that I know as I stopped quite early on in both games), you only have one weapon and there seems to be only one way to defeat each enemy. You have to press the buttons on the controllers at the precise moment in order to dodge and slash through your enemies. I simply don’t have the patience to figure this out, especially when the background of the story is basically nil, and exploring the world is so damn difficult. But trust me, I know I am missing out. I have been dying to try Elden Ring and what reviewers have hailed as the best open world they have ever seen, but I am afraid it would be just more of the same Bloodborne experience for me.

3.        Animal Crossing – I picked this up during the pandemic as there was just so much hype over it. And I played a ton of it for some months actually, until I had built and planted and decorated and fished and museum-ed all over my island and then realized that I didn’t see the point of the game. I think the problem is I don’t like to play over online multiplayer, which is what this game was built for, to share your island with your friends. I didn’t care to engage in this. I also think that unlike The Sims, the closest game I have played to Animal Crossing, there weren’t enough random hijinks happening. I don’t think the “cozy-sim” genre is for me, as I don’t really know what to do with myself if there are no hordes to fight and loot to collect and lore to read.

4.        Monster Hunter – another one I tried during the pandemic that I really, really wanted to like. I mean, it has such a great premise, am I right? Going to fight and collect loot from huge fantasy monsters? This was the stuff of every fantasy-lovers’ dreams! Or so I thought until I actually started playing the game and realized it was basically a loop with very little story (but I only played a few hours so I could be wrong). I mean, is the premise REALLY fight monsters – get monster loot to build better gear – to fight harder monsters – to get monster loot to build better gear – and so on? Without a real fleshed out story, this seemed really, really pointless to me very early on. Which is the shame, because I could see that there was some great Fantasy here that I was missing out on, but the “fun” simply eluded me.

5.        Outer Worlds – oh how I wanted to love this game. The quests looked like they would be great fun and there was a ton of world and story to explore. But… it was in the first person, and this elder goblin is simply useless at first-person games, having been exclusively trained all her life in third person RPGs. Alas, one can’t teach an old auntie new tricks, even with the prospect of great science fiction as a reward.

6.        Final Fantasy XVI – Like I said, I've already read Game of Thrones. I write about my experience here.

7.        Heroes of Might and Magic V – what is it about the graphics and the mechanics of this game that completely puts me off?? I was a great fan of Heroes II, III, and IV, but I could not get on board with this supposedly more advanced take (at the time) on these classics. I eagerly await the remake coming out soon, though. I wrote about this is more detail here.

8.        Final Fantasy VII Rebirth – I actually finished and loved Final Fantasy VII Remake, so I don’t know why I eventually tired of this game. I am about 70% in, actually, and I think it is visually a beautiful, appealing game, and I still enjoy the Final Fantasy turn-based slash action gameplay. But I suppose, just like Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, it hit me eventually that a big world does not necessarily an open world make. Which is entirely unfair, I know, as I understand that this game is not a true open world… but when the story and quite lame side quests eventually bore you and the world bores you, what else left is there? This game does have varied and quite visually-appealing fantasy environments to explore, but after marveling at the new graphics of an old classic, there is not much left to do. I'm gonna try to finish this eventually, but I am now neck deep in the much funner Metaphor: ReFantazio and Clair Obscur Expedition 33 and Oblivion remake just came out... so it's not gonna be for awhile.

9.        Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order – I actually sunk twenty or more hours into this game, and I had lots of Tomb Raider-reminiscent fun while playing it, truly. The worlds were quite a lot of fun to explore and I was quite into the story, until I realized there was no loot to speak of and not much lore to sink into. But to be honest, if you are already a Star Wars fan (which for simple generational reasons this elder goblin is), the world itself and the basic story is plenty to go with, so I probably would have finished it, except that I foolishly played it in hard mode, got captured and stuck in an arena and was made to fight my way out, and as this requires some very precise dodge-and-slash button pressing, much like Bloodborne, it was too hard for me and I couldn’t bring myself to lower the difficulty…. Now that I am writing this, I feel really even more foolish. I might pick this up again, especially as I think there is a sequel out now.

10.   Super Mario Galaxy – As a kid, I loved the Nintendo Super Marios  - remember the one where he could turn into a frog and a flying squirrel? Those were amazing!! I had such good times with my brothers and my cousins playing these old platformers. So during the pandemic where I think I was in need of a little regressive emotional comfort, and seeing nothing but glowing reviews of this game, I downloaded it. And I realized that it is possible to outgrow some aspects of video-gaming. Platformers is definitely one for me. After subsisting solely on a diet of RPGs for decades, I found it difficult to care about how well I jumped over mushrooms and goombas and how many stars and coins I collected. Don’t get me wrong, the worlds were beautiful to explore and seemed like great fun, and I heartily wish that I had these games when I was a kid, as they are practically magic compared to the platformers I grew up with. But… facts is facts, as they say.

I do feel envious of reviewers who seem to be able to find the fun in so many types of games, I’m sure their lives are richer for it. I do feel my life-experience is severely limited by my predilections for a certain type of game, as there are so many new kinds out there.